God is Good!/ Stage 3C

The other night at band practice one of the guys was talking about a recent cancer diagnosis in the family. The diagnosis was made through a mistake, actually. The woman he was talking about found out she had breast cancer because the doctor's had to go in and clean up an infection that they had basically caused. He said something like this: Can I just say something? It kind of bugs me when people say, "I'm not sick anymore. God is good!" or "I got a job! God is good! God is good all the time. I want to see someone post something like "My sister has cancer. God is good." Even though we were aggravated with the infection God was still good. And the infection still let us know that there was cancer.

Of course I quickly checked myself thinking, "Oh great, have I typed something like that recently?" It doesn't really matter whether I did or didn't or whether you have or haven't. I know God is good all the time and I love that he shared that. I need to make sure it is always known that my God is good ALL the time.

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer last August. She was, at first, told it was Stage 2B. I remember sharing this on facebook and my last line of the post said "God's got this." As we continued on the journey, the doctors would find cancer in more lymph nodes and upgrade the cancer to stage 3C. I was brokenhearted but my "tag line" was still "God's got this!"

During that time I remember a couple of times where I felt like God was really moving in my Spirit. It was hard to say it out loud but I felt Him saying "Jenn - I do have this but that can go a lot of ways" I knew my mom could be completely healed but I knew her journey on Earth could come to an end. Either way God is the ultimate Healer. After all, we are just pilgrims passing through, right? I found it difficult to pray. Of course I wanted healing for my mom, but I also had an overwhelming sense of God's ability to handle all situations.

Romans 8:28 says "And we know that all things work together for good to those that love God - those he has called according to His plan."

Done deal - God does have this - whether we understand it all or not, he does. I have a stepsister who passed away at the age of 26. It's been 12 years now and I still don't understand but am I suppose to? I rest in the fact that God most definitely used her in her time on Earth and that she is running down streets of gold instead of being laid up in a bed with the disease that wreaked havoc on her body for the last year of her life. Watching my parents go through that was hard but I've been inspired by their faith that presses on.

I think the hardest thing for me to hand over to him is my kids. I will lay in bed with crippling thoughts of bad things happening to my kids. I then find myself (almost desperately) saying, "They're yours, they're yours, they're yours." Some people find great difficulty in saying this and trust me, I do too. But wouldn't you rather Him be the one in control anyway. Just as much as my money and my car are his, my husband and kids are His too. He trusts me with them and I trust Him with them. It's still a battle for me because I know I'd be devastated if anything ever happened to Ellie or Jason, but Romans 8:28 says ALL things work together for the GOOD. I don't have to know all the answers, I just have to trust God.

I hope this hasn't been too terribly depressing! God is good -- all the time -- and just like He is Lord over the dark things we deal with, He is Lord over the most amazing things as well. He's just bigger than we'll ever comprehend...this side of Heaven anyway!